Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman
Posted in General on Thursday, May 2nd, 2013
Something about pregnancy provokes people to let loose their tongue. You’d be surprised to know that normally reserved colleagues, thoughtful neighbours and perfect strangers at the mall/restaurant suddenly ask questions that are not only weird but also inappropriate.
A pregnant woman is on an emotional roller-coaster ride during pregnancy. Hence, even an innocuously slipped wrong word can set her off.
Here is the list of things that you should not say to a pregnant woman.
You are huge? It looks like you are carrying twins!
Seriously guys, she most probably has a mirror at home which tells her how pregnancy has affected her body. So you needn’t add to her concern.
And also, with all the advances in prenatal monitoring, multiple births can be detected in the early months of pregnancy. So if the woman hasn’t said something about having twins, then rest assured; she is actually not carrying twins. Some women’s bellies get huge during pregnancy, that’s perfectly normal. So stop staring at her belly and asking this rude question.
Just wait until the haemorrhoids kick in!
A pregnant woman probably is going through a lot of symptoms of pregnancy; morning sickness, constipation, heartburn etc. She can go without you adding more to her list of concerns. Don’t talk to her unless she broaches the subject herself or you have some useful pregnancy related information to share.
Was it planned? You didn’t tell us you were planning?
Does it really matter to you whether she planned it or not? Isn’t it enough for you that she’s telling you she’s pregnant?
Secondly, why should she go about announcing her pregnancy plans to all and sundry? Some people don’t like to talk about such things. So respect their privacy.
You don’t look as if you are due anytime now? The baby must be tiny?
It may seem like a compliment but believe us, it’s definitely not. It may make a pregnant woman feel inadequate. And if you’re not the first person to say it, then the woman will start worrying that something might be seriously wrong.
Nowadays, antenatal care has made huge advances. The pregnant woman must be visiting her doctor fortnightly or every week. Her doctor would be able to detect if something’s wrong. You don’t need to act as her doctor.
Oh, it looks like you are having a girl/boy!
There is no theory till date that proves that an onlooker, by just seeing the shape of the bump or the complexion on the face, can discover the sex of the baby that a pregnant woman is carrying. It’s a total hogwash!
So even if the woman is glowing with good health or looking tired and ugly, refrain from voicing your observations before her.
When is it due?
It sounds harmless but given the number of times a pregnant woman is generally asked this question, gradually it starts to grate on the nerves. And if you are not a family member, friend, colleague or neighbour, does it really matter to you when it’s due?
Can I touch the bump?
Believe us, it’s a very strange request. Not all women are comfortable letting their bellies be touched by strangers.
Again, do you routinely let strangers touch any part of your body out of curiosity?
Are you excited?
Now what sort of a question is this? Of course, a pregnant woman would be excited.
Do you really care for the answer? Then don’t ask the question.
You’re never going to get any sleep once the baby gets here
Moms-to-be are well aware of the sleepless nights in the future. They don’t need your constant reminder. Unless you are a new parent who can sympathize with the situation, this is one thing not to say to a pregnant woman.
Are you scared of the birth?
My Cousin/friend had a horrible time, my experience was not too good either.
This is one thing you can definitely not say to a pregnant woman. Talking about pain is socially not acceptable.
Everybody knows that childbirth is a painful experience. You don’t need to remind her. And please, refrain from narrating your own horror; stories, it does nothing to uplift the poor pregnant woman’s morale.
Get used to not having a life.
People love pointing out the negative aspects of parenting; crying babies, sleepless nights and potty training. Why can’t they talk about the joy that the babies bring in the life; their smiles, innocence and sweet smell? Those rewards will far outweigh any of the inconveniences.
And there are plenty of parents who still watch movies, dine outside, go on vacations etc. And also plenty of working mothers who have beautifully balanced their careers and children. Life doesn’t end on having a baby; it just changes a lot.
The next time you talk to a pregnant woman, just remember she needs understanding from you and not your prying and insensitive questions.
What you can do is be excited for her and say:
• You are looking good (even if she is not)
• You will make a wonderful mother
But if you don’t have something good to say then keep quiet. It will be much appreciated.